Confessionals (Week 8)

Fuck! This is not how things were supposed to go down. I'm assuming Juliet and Eko never told me that they were planning on blindsiding Kate tonight. Perhaps they just wanted to get Kate out of here in order to ensure that I work with them. What annoys me is that this vote was out of personal reasons and NOT strategic reasons. How the hell are we supposed to vote them off now if we can't trust each other? If Juliet and Eko seriously think those 4 have any intention on taking them far in this game, they are retarded.

Ugh, now I have to scramble my ass off to ensure that I make it through this next vote. I'm assuming the votes for Sun were myself, Charlie, Kate and Desmond.

So now it appears Juliet and Desmond were the people that screwed up the last vote. Eko and I have talked and we're under the impression that Juliet just wanted to vote off one of them first. I think I've underestimated how close Desmond and Juliet are in this game... they must be working together or something.

I just don't understand what she's thinking at this point. The only good thing about Kate leaving like this is it makes me look completely innocent and like I tried to save her, which could earn me a jury vote at some point. Making it there at this point could be challenging, though.

Hopefully things are getting back on the right track. Juliet has explained to me that it wasn't a vote against me. I believe her intent was to get her out of here because she held the most control within our former tribe. She knew that my main loyalties lied with her and Kate... so I guess cutting off Kate makes me only loyal to her now. According to Desmond, Juliet trusts me the most... which is ironic because I don't know how much I trust her at this point.

If things go the way Juliet "seems" to want them to, John could possibly get blindsided tonight. I would rather remove Charles or Sun for my own strategic purposes, but John is fine as long as he doesn't play an idol. I'm just crossing my fingers that I'm not next on their hitlist.

I'm not feeling confident at all about tonight. I'm getting the vibe that if I don't win Immunity this evening, I'm going home. I can't trust Juliet at all, even though I've told her that I do. Right now I'm confident that Eko and Charlie will vote with me. Desmond gives me the impression that he'll vote with me, but I never can tell with him. And then Juliet will do whatever she thinks will benefit her the most. It's all kind of scary right now, but I'm going to try my best to stick around.

Hopefully I'm wrong about them sending me packing and perhaps they'll take out Charlie instead.

Tonight is going to be very interesting at TC. It seems like my group is going to be attempting a blindside of John. We fear that he was the idol and there's a decent chance he might play it. I just have to hope that he doesn't at this point. I've heard that their alliance is planning on voting out Charlie, but making it seem like I am the target.

I'm just gonna cross my fingers and hope this all works out.